9 Ways to Untwist your Thinking

Wellness

A couple of months ago I wrote a blog post on 10 cognitive distortions. These distortions are ways that our brains twist our thinking and cause a negative thought patterns. Unfortunately, I left you guys hanging on how to resolve some of these thought patterns you might have encountered! Here are the 9 ways to untwist your thinking and put yourself in a better mental state.

In no way is this medical advice! I am providing you with information that I have learned and tried to help with my negative thought patterns. For more information on this topic check out David D. Burns a professor of psychiatry who wrote a book called Feeling good on this topic. Let’s get into untwisting our thinking.

1. Identifying the Distortion

The first way to untwist your thinking is to write down the negative thoughts you are having. When you write down your thoughts it allows you to analyze what is going on! In my previous blog, I list the 10 Cognitive Distortions, looking through that list to identify which one best relates to your situation. This will help you understand your thought pattern and ease or diffuse the negativity by understanding what your mind is doing.

2. Examine the Evidence

Continuing with the writing method! We want to help reverse the thought or find the truth. Instead of believing the negativity try and find positivity. If you believe you are not good at anything, for example, try writing down 5 things you are good at. This method helps you see the other side of the thought.

3. The Double Standard Method

This method is about your thought pattern. Instead of putting yourself down treat yourself with compassion and do something for yourself. Give yourself the same advice you would give to a friend experiencing the same situation! You would be a lot more gentle with a friend. So treat yourself the same way.

4. The Experimental Technique

Test yourself and your negative thoughts! Try and prove that your thoughts are not real. Do an experiment to prove otherwise. For instance, If you believe that eating in front of other people makes them believe you are disgusting. You want to test this theory. Once you know what you are testing rate the strentgh of this belief. Ask around and see what other people think of your concept. Conduct the experiement with people close to you or take a friends and complete it in a public space. Reflect on the results and try changing or adjusting the belief.

5. Thinking in Shades of Grey

This method works particularly well for the all or nothing thinking thought pattern. To refresh you memory, the all or nothing thinking distortion is when you believe you are a success or failure and there is little to no in between. The shades of grey are all of the other facts, opinons and beliefs surrounding you that are overlooked during this pattern of thinking. While using this method you want to rate your thought on a scale from 0-100. This helps you avoid seeing yourself as a failure and helps see it as a partial success. The rating helps you see the in between and the severity of the event.

6. The Survey Method

This method can be helpful but also is not always the best. The survey method occurs when you reach out to friends, family or peers and ask if they have ever had these thoughts occur. For example, social anxiety can occur in new situations, and by relating to other’s experiences it can ease anxiety. It is not my favourite method, for instance some people are very confident and will not experience social anxiety. They may be very bold and say that it is not a big deal and be less sympathetic. Their answer should not reflect how you feel as they are experiencing it very differently. Try to find someone to relate to with similar values and beliefs to yours or someone who is empathetic about your social anxiety.

7. The Semantic Method

This method requires changing the language of your negative thoughts! When you say you shouldn’t have done something or should have done something it is important to change the language. It would be better if I did it this way instead of tearing yourself down. This relates to the growth mindset which I have written about on a instagram and the blog! Check it out @allureofmadison or How to Develop a Growth Mindset

8. Re- Attribution

Re-attribution is rethinking your choice of negative thinking. If you say you are bad at something this technique makes you list all the contributing factors that could lead you to be not good at something. This lets you focus on the problem and not the outcome! This theory also comes in handy when you become a victim of self blaming. Identifying other root causes to the problem other then yourself can give you a better outlook on the event or situation.

I have added a worksheet to help your tackle some of the harder concepts. This worksheet will helps you break down your negative thoughts and help you readjust and see these thoughts in another way. Writing things down helps you decompress and most of the time gives you a different perspective on the situation at hand. I hope this helps and you try this next time you are in a negative thought pattern.

9. Cost-Benefit Analysis

Pull out that pen and paper again! This technique involves laying out the advantages and disadvantages of a feeling, behaviour, self-defeating beliefs, or negative thoughts! This can be beneficial to see the disadvantages of being negative. This can be a very important technique when a person is procrastinating a decision or is overwhelemed by a choice. Laying out your options and weighing out the pros and cons helps you better decide. This method allows people to view all potential outcomes. I have attached a worksheet for this method specifically. This has helped me a lot when I become overwhelemed making decisions. It weighs out all of the options good and bad. It provides a great visual and assists you better by laying out all the pros and cons. Also, it makes you consider all options. In this example, I use tolerating distress but you can substitute that for any situation.

These 9 ways to untwist your thinking can be super beneficial. I encourage you all to try these methods in different situations that arise in your life. If you are looking for more information you can refer to Cogntive Behavioural Therapy techniques and tips online or check out the book by David Burns. I hope you found this blog helpful. I wish you all good health and happy thoughts.

Lots of love,

Madison.

Underrated Beauty Tools

Beauty

I wanted to share with you some of my most used beauty tools that are not getting the attention they deserve. These products have been super helpful and I highly recommend checking them out! I have attached some links so you can find them.

[This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I make money from the vendor at no additional cost to you! I only promote products that I believe in and use myself]

LED LIGHT-UP MIRROR

The first tool is a LED light-up mirror. This is the best thing that has happened to my make-up routine but also my beauty routine. The mirror has a zoomed side as well as a typical mirror side. It lights up with white light which makes everything easier to see. I love to do my makeup in this lighting as I can see really well, and it also isn’t harsh, so the colours typically match perfectly. This mirror is also ideal for doing eyebrows as the zoomed side & light make seeing the little hairs very clear.

I bought mine from Costco a while ago. I have attached a highly rated similar mirror from Amazon. BEAUTURAL 10X Magnifying LED Lighted Makeup Mirror

SILICONE APPLICATOR BRUSH

The next tool is increasing in popularity, but I wanted to mention it anyways it is a silicone applicator brush! I mostly use this brush for applying face masks, but it can also be used for foundation, moisturizer, and primer. If you don’t like to use your fingers or bristle brushes this is the applicator you need! It is super easy to clean and make applying wet or cream products easier.

I have added a link for 2 applicators for only $3.00! Such a great deal. Wingsflying 2 pcs Facial Mask Brush, Soft Silicone Hairless Body lotion and Body Butter Facial Mud Mask Applicator Tools, 0.04 kilogram

BEAUTY SPONGE HOLDER

The third beauty product is super convenient. I hate when you shove your beauty blender in a drawer, and it collects dust and gets covered with other products. I got a beauty blender holder for this specific reason! A beauty secret I think everyone knows that beauty blenders work better when wet and having a beauty sponge holder helps dry out the beauty blender. This product helps keep your blender clean and it is obviously aesthetically pleasing!

Get a silver and rose gold beauty sponge holder here! Luxspire Beauty Sponge Blender Holder, 2 Pack Makeup Sponge Holder Drying Stand Makeup Powder Puff Holder Egg Rack Powder Puff Display Stand – Rose Gold & Silver

EYEBROW RAZOR

The next product is an eyebrow razor! There are two options when it comes to this product! You can get them electronic or not. This product is great for cleaning up your eyebrows and peach fuzz around your eyebrows. You can use this product for derma-planing which is typically done by a facials professional. You would take the razor and simply shave your face. This is not for everyone, but it is a great way to exfoliate your face. It removes dead skin cells and hair from your face leaving you with soft supple skin. If you’re looking for how to do it check out Julia & Hunter’s YouTube channel and she gives a great tutorial. https://youtu.be/a2A_pWSLs5s

I have attached a 24 pack here! CKANDAY 24 Pieces Eyebrow Razor Shaper Trimmer Shaver Women Men Facial Razor with Precision Cover,Green Pink Yellow

CLEANING PAD

The next tool is the makeup brush cleaning pad! You can get these basically anywhere. This is a great way to clean your brushes without being too harsh. They stick to your sink, so they don’t slip around. With some makeup remover solution, it is easier to clean deep in your brush with the textured patterns on the mat. I highly recommend investing in one of these!

LEADSTAR Makeup Brush Cleaning Mat, Silicon Makeup Brush Cleaner Pad, 1 Apple Shaped Large Mat + 1 Round Shaped Mini Mat (Pink)

AMOPE PEDI PERFECT

The final tool that I recommend is an Amope Pedi perfect! This is bringing a pedicure into your own home. The Pedi perfect removes dead skill cells from your feet and makes them smooth and soft. I love to have this tool at home because sometimes I don’t want to wait until my next pedicure to exfoliate my feet! It is a quick and easy tool to use at home that makes your feet soft before you put your sandals on.

They have pink & blue on amazon! Pedi Perfect Advanced Electronic Foot File, color may vary

These are again tools that are underrated but I totally love! I hope you found some of these products interesting and will consider giving them a try. Leave a comment about a tool you love but don’t know many people use and I will test it out.

Also check out my instagram @allureofmadison

Eco- Friendly Products I Use

lifestyle

One of my major goals for 2020 was to reduce the harm that I am putting on the environment. You may think that it takes a lot of changing but it is the simple things that can have a positive impact on the environment. Here I have listed some products and some tips to help you reduce some of your impact on the environment.

[This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I make money from the vendor at no additional cost to you! I only promote products that I believe in and use myself]

Brita

Switching from water bottles to a Brita was a life-changing thing. A Brita was convenient and helped save the use of plastic. There are many sizes of Brita’s which makes it easy to decide which is best for your home. I currently have the medium size Brita and it is great for everyday use! It is is easy to refill and place back in the fridge. I am even considering upgrading to the large in fridge Brita which is more like a tank. It comes with a filter and filters the water through. The filter only needs to be changed every 3 months, but they are also available on amazon. I have not bought a case of water bottles since this purchase and it feels good.

Brita Space Saver Water Filter Pitcher with 1 Standard Filter, Black, 6 Cup – 60258360363

Brita Water Filter Pitcher Advanced Replacement Filters, 5 Count

Dryer balls

I was very skeptical about dryer balls as I didn’t think they could work the same as a dryer sheet. I also thought they would be loud in the dryer which is not the case. Dryer balls are very handy in reducing the amount of dryer sheet waste and chemicals we use. For large loads of laundry, I place 3 dryer balls in the load. For smaller loads I only use two. I pour a couple of drops of essential oil and toss them in. If you are looking for scents Saje has a specific dryer ball scent but any essential oil will do the trick. My clothes come out soft and smelling great. I recommend making the switch.

Updated Version(Made of The Latest Shearing) Wool Dryer Balls Pack of 6 XL,100% Premium Reusable New Zealand Natural Fabric Softener,Saves Drying Time, Handmade Dryer Balls

Bring own grocery bags/ veggies bags

I am sure this has become a lot more common now as I know stores around me no longer giving out plastic bags but have paper bags instead. If you forgot your reusable bags paper is okay in a pinch. If your local store is still using plastic bags and you have to use them try and use them multiple times! I have reused mine as smaller trash bags. I have been bringing my reusable bags to the store for some time now. I have collected them over the years for shopper’s drug mart, roots, and other stores that provide sturdy bags. Although it is much nice to have matching canvas tote bags, I am waiting for my others to break down. It is much easier to bring your own and store them in your car! You are saving so much paper and plastic by doing this.

Another cool thing I have recently discovered is replacing the bags you put fruit and vegetables in. I now use knitted bags and mesh bags of all sizes found on amazon and keep them with my large grocery bags. It eliminates all plastic bags from the store that are only used once!

PrettyCare Reusable Mesh Produce Bags 12 Pack (Lightweight, See-Through) Superior Double-Stitched Strength Bags with Tare Weight on Tags for Shopping & Storage of Fruit, Veggies, Grocery

5 Pack 12oz Heavy Natural Canvas Tote Bag 16″ W X 16″ H X 3.15″ Bottom Gusset,Tote Shopping Bag,Washable Grocery Tote Bag, DIY Craft Canvas Bag

Metal straws

Although many places are starting to offer paper straws in place of the plastic ones I still cannot get on board. The paper gets wet and the straws begin to melt, and it gets gross quick! I now ask employees to skip the straw and I will use my own! There are many different kinds of straws on the market, but I most enjoy my metal straws as they are easy to clean and typically come with different angles and bends to them! By using my straw I’m saving plastic and the gross paper straws.

Globi Premium Metal Straws – Eco-Friendly, High Quality, Washable Stainless Steel Drinking Straws. Set of 8 Reusable Straws, 2 Cleaning Brushes + an EXCLUSIVE Globi Carry Bag. Perfect for Cocktails & Juices.

Bee’s wax food wrap

Switching to reusable bee’s wax food wrap has made a substantial difference in the use of other plastic coverings. Using the bee’s wax food wrap it covers and provides a more breathable material for your food without compromising the duration it stays fresh. It comes in many different patterns and sizes to fit your needs. It is a very flexible material and can be folded in many ways. Washed in cold water it can last a long time and be used on multiple occasions with different food items.

Meowoo Beeswax Food Wraps,Reusable Eco Friendly Bee Wax Wrap,Suitable for Fruits Vegetables Sandwiches etc

I hope you guys got a new idea for how you can incorporate some of these eco-friendly products into your everyday lifestyle! Let me know in the comments if there are some other products I can try. I would love to hear from you. Don’t forget to check out some older blogs down below!

All About Me

Home

Hi! Welcome to Allure of Madison!

I’m Madison a 21-year-old student from Ontario, Canada. My main goal of this blog is to share my love for writing but also to have an outlet to share the things I am passionate about! I hope somewhere in this blog you find something that appeals to you whether that be lifestyle topics like food, clothes, or products I love. I also do wellness blogs that touch on mental health & self-care. Finally I dabble in beauty! I am no expert and I am still learning but I am happy to share what I have experienced with you guys! If that’s what you are into then I’m your girl. Make sure to follow the blog and leave comments where you can.

If your still interested check out my socials & follow the blog!

Instagram: @allureofmadison

Pinterest: madsquires

Thanks for your support!

Lots of love xo,

Madison Carly Squires

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT- GUIDE TO GUT HEALTH

Wellness

Your gut is linked to your overall health. Your gut can cause and produce effects on your body to things you didn’t even know were related. What we put in our bodies directly affects how we will feel. You may not necessarily equate what you are feeling to your gut directly as the symptoms do not align with typical gut problems. Many signs can demonstrate to you that there might be a problem in your gut. Always consult with a doctor if you are experiencing gut issues! I am sharing some things I have noticed in my health and through some research. In no way is this medical advice!

SIGNS YOUR GUT MAY BE IN TROUBLE

Digestion issues: gas, bloating, constipation

Mental issues: depression, anxiety, brain fog

Vitamin and mineral deficiency: D, K, magnesium, B12, and B7

Overuse of antibiotics

Chronic and unmanaged stress

Skin problems: acne, eczema

Autoimmune diseases: arthritis, IBS

GUT HEALTH FOODS

Bone Broth: helps repair cell walls, contains collagen which is beneficial for skin and joints. Boosts immune system. Rich in nutrients. Drinking bone broth or using it as a soup base is a great way to integrate it into your diet.

Coconut Oil: easy to digest, helps boost energy levels, and burn fat. Absorbs fat-soluble vitamins. Prevent stomach ulcers. Incorporate through switching your cooking oil.

Fermented foods: probiotics, improved digestion, provides good bacteria, and can help some people lose weight. Add fermented foods to lunch as toppings or sides.

Kombucha: probiotic that fights candida, heals your gut, and can improve your mental clarity. Drink kombucha once a day with or without a meal! There are many different flavours on the market.

Kefir: improve digestion and has calcium. You can put kefir in smoothies, salads, or replace it for yogurt.

Ginger: fights bad bacteria, boosts your immune system, eases nausea and inflammation. Eat it fresh on top of foods or make a tea.

Turmeric: superfood that has an incredible anti-inflammatory effect and is an antioxidant. Turmeric is great to season food, add to smoothies, or even better in a tea.

Omega 3 foods: good bacteria in your gut, good for your brain, eyes, and weight loss. Wild-caught salmon, walnuts, and chia seeds.

Sweet Potato’s: help with fibre and antioxidant intake. Fermentable starches that restore gut flora. High in vitamins.

KEY GUT TERMS

Probiotics: good bacteria for your gut they help heal your digestive system. Yogurt, kefir, pickles, kombucha. Or it can be bought as a supplement.

Collagen: It helps with connective tissues in your body. Helps with intestinal permeability or leaky gut syndrome increasing your gut wall strength. Found in animal skins, bone broth, or in supplement form.

Candida: is a fungi that lives in the body mostly in the intestines. Candida can begin to grow and spread. When it gets out of hand you can experience gut problems.

Gut Flora: Is the term to describe your gut and the functions that it plays in maintaining and fighting off poor gut health. Poor gut flora equals to poor gut health.

Fat-Soluble Vitamins: vitamins that can dissolve in fats and oils. They can be stored in fatty tissue until needed. Vitamins A, D, E and K

Antioxidant: Something that provides oxidation. Protects from free radicals which can cause disease which is produced when food is broken down. Onions, Leeks, berries, spinach.

KEY WAYS TO KEEP A CLEAN AND HEALTHY GUT

Take probiotics

Drink lots of water

Exercise

Reduce your stress levels

Avoid toxins (sugar, grains, dairy, and oils)

I hope this gives you a little more information on how to keep one of the most important parts of the body feeling clean and healthy. It is important to recognize the signs of poor gut health and begin to take action as soon as you can to make yourself feel better!

New Year, New You!

lifestyle

Welcome back! 2020 is a new start and is a time where I am making changes and pursuing things that make me happy. Allure of Madison is a place where I can share my passion for writing and share meaningful topics that hopefully make a difference for someone out there. December was a time of reflection for myself and many others. It is a time where people look back at the year and see the good and bad and decide to make the changes they want to see in their life. Starting the new year is always a time people strive for change and want to make good habits. Whether people make resolutions to eat healthier or go to the gym, it is important to stick with these goals even as January fades away. For me, I wanted to set goals or intentions that I felt that I could keep and would be attainable for not only January but for the rest of the year. There are many things you can do to set yourself on the right track this new year.

List goals or things you want to accomplish in 2020.

Make a list of everything that comes to your mind for the new year. When writing this list make it so that everything is possible do not go beyond your reach. If you do not believe it then it will not happen. On this list you could have anything from simply practicing better self-care or a trip to Europe. These goals will help guide your year. Writing them down helps place them in the universe and helps them come to fruition. Try to create a list of between 5-10 items. A smaller more detailed list makes it easier to maintain focus and stick with your goals all year round. Make your goals attainable and aligned with your specific situation. Like if you never go to the gym do not make your goal “go to the gym four times a week”. This will encourage unrealistic standards that will actually decrease your motivation and slow you down before you start. Start with “I will walk every day” or “attend the gym once a week” and gradually increase when you are ready. Setting smart goals will increase the likely hood of you succeeding. Making your goals expand through the year and not ending abruptly with help make it a lifestyle you are able to continue instead of a single accomplishment.

Make a vision board.

I know not everyone likes arts and crafts, but visualization is key to helping you accomplish these goals. Being able to see these goals and physically checking them off the board will be extremely helpful. You can make a vision board by printing pictures or put items associated with the goal on the board. Place this board somewhere you can see it often to remind yourself of these goals that you have created. If you don’t want to make a board, you could make it digitally as well through apps like PicCollage and have it saved in your phone to remind you. (see above image for my digital vision board for 2020). The images help you imagine and manifest these goals and ideas and turn them into a reality. Once you start talking and thinking about them, they are a constant reminder to you that this is important to you and that taking steps to achieve these goals or visions is important to you.

State your weaknesses or things that might hold you back.

Once you have created your vision board or written these goals for 2020 somewhere where you can see them it is time to reflect on your past and see your weaknesses. Many people set the same goal every year and when it comes to the end of January the goal fades and becomes a distant memory. It is important to write down your weaknesses or setbacks from previous experiences. When writing these down it helps you come to terms with why you haven’t been successful and how you can become successful. Writing a goal is awesome and is easy to do but when it comes to following through many people do not. Weakness might be time management, laziness, addiction, busy or even loss of interest. Recognizing these weaknesses can help you aspire and create change in your life for the better. Many of your goals may even align with your weaknesses or something you want to improve upon.

Hold yourself accountable.

This is the most important step of the whole year and the process. As much as you can set goals and manifest your dreams to come true a person cannot go to sleep at night and wake up with a better job or body. You are in charge of your destiny; you are what is going to make this a reality. It might not be easy, but it is up to you to take the correct steps and work hard for these goals. If you want that job go out and take the steps necessary to assist you in achieving that goal. The vision board is there to remind you every day or every once in a while, the plan you laid out for yourself. It is to remind you that you wanted this, and it is important. 2020 could be great if you put in the work and do what you love.

I hope this helps you start off your year on the right foot! Happy first Monday of a brand new year. Try and relax and enjoy this year. Best of luck to everyone.

10 Cognitive Distortions

Wellness

Sometimes your mind runs wild, it happens to everyone. Your mind starts releasing thoughts that are irrational or exaggerated and you do not notice that these thoughts aren’t normal. These kinds of thoughts are cognitive distortions. Cognitive distortions are reinforced when we do not try and untwist our thoughts. We must recognize how our mind is working and find ways to settle our mind and put a positive outlook back into our perspective. These thoughts can be recurring or can come out of the blue.

David Burns M.D. released the Feeling Good Handbook in 1989 and suggested that there are 10 cognitive distortions that people experience in their everyday life.

All or Nothing Thinking

This type of thinking is where you see things in black or white. This means that you regard activities as either a success or failure; there is no in-between. This kind of thinking involves even the slightest bit of uncertainty is seen as a failure. For example, if you were in an interview and you were caught off guard by a question and you don’t believe your answer was good enough. A person who thinks this way would see the whole thing as a failure and waste of time due to the mind focusing on that one slight set back.

2. Overgeneralization

Overgeneralization occurs when past events that did not turn out well or failed affect how you see your future. For example, the boyfriend who may have broken up with you last year doesn’t mean that you will never find love again. Overgeneralization is when you believe that you cannot achieve anything again because of previous situations that relate. It can leave you feeling hopeless and lost. This type of thinking can cause major setbacks in life.

3. Mental Filter

This is a very common distortion of thinking in this digital world. Through millions of comments and likes it can be hard to not focus what people say about you. When the mental filter distortion comes into effect is when out of 20 positive comments there is one that is negative leading you to only focus on that negative. This focus can last for up to days you can even obsess over this reaction.

4. Discounting the Positive

Discounting the positive occurs when you achieve something no matter how big and you say it doesn’t count or it’s not a big deal. Anything that you achieve should be celebrated no matter how big or small. Not rewarding yourself takes the joy out of activities. It also makes you believe that you aren’t achieving anything. For example, passing a test should be celebrated and not judged if you could’ve done better or if your friend received a higher score.

5. Jumping to Conclusions

This one is pretty obvious, and you may have experienced it before. This is when you overthink and interpret things with no facts to support your thinking. It can be demonstrated in two ways.

Mind Reading: This kind of jumping to conclusions is when you think you know what others are thinking. This normally occurs when you believe others are thinking about you in a negative light or talking about you in general.

Fortune Telling: This occurs before the situation even happens. Your mind jumps to conclusions and guesses what is going to happen in the future thinking that is going to end badly.

6. Magnification

Magnification occurs when a person exaggerates the importance of a problem or a shortcoming. For example, it is not the end of the world to get 60% on a test worth 5%. It will not dramatically impact you or your mark, but this instance can be blown out of proportion at the moment. Another way this could be looked at is if you don’t get a job it does not mean you won’t get another one. It just means you have to keep trying.

7. Emotional Reasoning

This one is a hard spot to be in mentally. Emotional reasoning captures the emotion you feel reflect the way things are. You may personally think you’re overweight but in the eyes of others and doctors you aren’t. Your mind is telling you are, so you are believing it. Another big one is you may feel lonely and connect that you must be unloved and not cared for which again is certainly not the case.

8. Should Statements

Should statements occur when the situation did not go as expected or planned and you allow yourself to have guilt seep in. It should equate to not doing or wishing something would happen. These should statements could be turned into motivation but sometimes the only thing they do is make us feel worse about what we’re not doing.

I should exercise more but I have to do ____.
I should stretch at night but I’m too tired.
I should try that but that requires a lot of time.

Reframing perspective and trying to understand why you should or the benefits of doing something will help make should statements more motivating and empowering then something you just say.

9. Labelling

Photo by Linda Eller-Shein on Pexels.com

Labeling is a form of all or nothing thinking but is more extreme to the point of downing yourself and you becoming your own enemy number one. I have been a victim of labelling on multiple occasions and it is an error that I try my best to change. Labelling for instance could be not believing you’re not living up to the standards of others and calling yourself a loser or stupid. It could be deciding to take a different path and labelling yourself a failure. Labelling is irrational and causes your self-esteem to drop and encourage more anxiety. Looking at your situation in a positive light and boosting yourself up with positive self-talk can help get you out of this slump.

10. Personalization and Blame

Personalization and blame are important things to recognize. Not every problem or situation that arises in your life is your fault. Blame is another important thing to realize you may do. When you send your child to school and they struggle in math don’t take that to heart. It does not mean you are a bad mother. It also may not mean that the teacher isn’t good. Personalization and blame lead to feelings of guilt and shame. Blaming yourself always deters from solving the real issue or problem that has occurred. Also blaming others when they aren’t at fault can cause frustration and guilt.

These 10 cognitive distortions can play a big role in the lives of those who struggle with anxiety and depression. The cognitive distortions can overwhelm the mind of anyone who is facing a challenge or is not feeling confident in themselves. It is important to realize that these distortions exist so that in the future or the now we can help reverse and get out of these poor mental states and improve our mental health together! Stay tuned on the blog this week for some tricks to untwist your thinking which will help you overcome the cognitive distortions.

Also, if you are looking for more information and want to dive deeper into this topic you can pick up David D. Burns, M.D. book The Feeling Good Handbook available on amazon or at chapters!

Decadent Cheesecake Brownie

lifestyle

At 20 years old I’m never asked to bring anything to the family parties or get togethers (THANK GOD). I’m not a very good chef or anywhere close to a pastry master. The one thing I have going for me is a boyfriend with a sweet tooth. I am always looking for ways to do something nice for him and in most cases, sweets do the trick. I searched up and down and all over the internet for brownie recipes that would satisfy the brownie craving. Not only did I find a fudgy brownie, but it has CHEESECAKE on it… This was a game changer and made me no longer want any other dessert. When I make this dessert, my inner chef comes out. I have made this cheesecake brownie many times now for different people in my life and it has always been a hit … THANK YOU very much! Now that I have this platform to share this wonderful recipe, I gladly will allow you to taste this decadent dessert for yourself!

Okay so here is the gist, you will need…

CHEESECAKE

8 oz of cream cheese

1 egg

1 cup of chocolate chips

¼ cup of sugar

BROWNIE

1/2 cup of butter

1 tbsp of oil

1 cup of chocolate chips (maybe more depending how fudgy you want it)

1 cup of white sugar

2 eggs

2 teaspoons of vanilla

½ cup of flour

½ cup of cocoa powder

¼ tsp of salt

½ tsp of baking powder

TOPPER:

Fresh strawberries

Whipped cream

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 400F

In a big bowl mix together the cream cheese, egg and ¼ cup of sugar. Mix it until all the lumps are removed.

Then take your white chocolate chips and add them to your cream cheese mixture and combine.

Melt your butter, oil and sugar together and whisk well. Add 2 whisked eggs and vanilla to the mixture and stir until well combined.

In a large mixing bowl add your flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt together. Then gradually pour some of the dry mixture into the wet making sure it is all incorporated.

Pour your ingredients into a greased baking pan of 9×9 or 9 x 13 depending how thick you want your brownie. Pour half the brownie batter in the bottom and spread evenly. Then pour full cheesecake batter over tops and spread evenly. Pour remaining brownie batter on top and then take a knife and gently swirl the cheesecake and brownie layer together on the top.

Bake for 25- 35 minutes at 400F or until the centre is baked through. Check with a tooth pick if it comes out clean its ready!

How to Develop a Growth Mindset

lifestyle

Trying new things can be hard as you may have set expectations for yourself. You may want to try something new like a diet or workout plan. Another experience could be a difficulty with a task at work or home. You may have developed a poor attitude and feel like giving up quickly due to frustration. Are you saying things like “I’m not good enough, this is too hard, I can’t do this?” If you are, you’re stuck in a fixed mindset.

The Fixed Mindset

A fixed mindset occurs when you feel down about yourself and you give up trying. It can sneak in upon you while watching others succeed or getting negative feedback. When you hit a wall you easily back down from the challenge. A fixed mindset lets you believe you can only do so much and are not good enough. Being in a fixed mindset is only going to deter your process. For instance, if you are not doing something because you feel like you will fail, your mindset is fixed. Thinking something is too hard and quitting after the first try is also a fixed mindset. For you to feel better and achieve these tasks or goals you must change how you think.

Growth mindset

Developing a growth mindset is hard for most people as you are the ultimate decider of your fate. You are in charge of where your happiness goes and what you want to achieve. It will take time, but consistency and hard work will ultimately help you succeed. A growth mindset looks at challenges as a way to learn, obstacles as a stepping stone, criticism as a form of perspective, and improving in the future. Watching others succeed should only drive your motivation more!

Developing the Mindset

Now how do you develop this mindset you may ask? Well you must begin looking at situations from a different perspective. When you start a task and it becomes hard or you begin to struggle to step back and encourage yourself to think positively. Thinking ‘what am I missing? Or I can use a different strategy to succeed’ these thoughts will guide you to look at things differently. Now I know failing may be discouraging I get it I have been there. Letting this one failure affect how you proceed is what will slow you down from improving and learning. Having a growth mindset lets a person improve and grow as a person. They are more new things to try, more opportunities to be creative, and seek challenges.

Challenges

One of the main challenges of having a growth mindset is the people around you. If you receive negative feedback many people absorb the information and it affects your process. When you adopt the growth mindset you take this information and process it making sure that you learn from the criticism and use it as an opportunity to improve. People around you may say you can’t do it or it’s too difficult for you. That is when you adopt the ‘I can do this mentality’, and I will do it even it takes time. Believing in yourself is a vital part of the mindset. Making yourself a priority and doing what is right for you.

Changing the Thinking

Fixed Mindset	Growth Mindset
I can’t do this.	I can do this, or I can learn to do this.
It is too hard.	It may take me some extra time, but I will keep looking for a solution.
I always make mistakes.	I can learn from my mistakes and improve the next time.
I give up.	Let me take a break and approach it with a different strategy later.
I can’t figure it out.	Step back. What could I be missing?
My friend is great at it and I suck.	Maybe my friend can teach me to be better.
It’s good enough… I guess.	Could I have done better?

I have used the Growth Mindset to overcome the fear of failure. Sometimes just giving up is just going to hold you back. When I developed the growth mindset it helped me overcome my fears and begin doing things I love. This mindset has helped me gain the confidence to begin writing and sharing how I have come to be happier with myself. It has also encouraged me to spend more time in the gym and achieve some of my fitness goals. I hope by not giving up and trying new things you will challenge yourself to grow and learn about yourself for future endeavours. I hope you have gained a new perspective on the challenges you face and use this positive approach the next time you can!

Summer Closet Essentials-2019

Beauty

Summer is finally here! The warm weather and the long nights have finally begun. Summer is the time to break out the best of your wardrobe and show it off to the world. I have included some essentials of my summer wardrobe and have listed insights on how to incorporate standard pieces into everyday wear!

The Little Black Dress

A black dress is necessary in any closet. A black dress is super versatile it can be dressed up or down and worn at any occasion. Black dresses can be purchased for under $20 but can be made to make you look like a million bucks.

To dress up a black dress add a pair of heels, a nice clutch, a styled hair do and some accessories. To enhance another feature of the outfit, provide a pop of colour preferably in your shoes or your clutch/purse.

To make that black dress ready for an everyday day look throw on a pair of sandals and a jean jacket.

Black and White

When I look in my closet the main colour scheme is black, white and grey. Now this isn’t a problem as these are good staples to have. It is important to have 1 t-shirt and 1 body suit in black and white as they will easily achieve any look you are going for. I love black and white because it allows me to accessorize. I like throwing a pop of colour in here or there. These staples also let you explore different pants options!

Earrings

I am a big fan of earrings sprucing up an outfit. I love big hoops or earrings that dangle and draw your attention to your face. The nice thing about relying on earrings to make an outfit is that they are super inexpensive! I buy majority of my earrings from Ardene or Clarie’s and they have a wide variety. I recommend purchasing a few show stopper pieces and a pair of classic silver and classic gold hoops (no it doesn’t have to be real). This way no matter the occasion your ears will shine!

Wicker/Straw Bag

This style bag is super popular right now! I love them. They are not only great and useful walking along the beach, but they are super cute day to day. This style has been on the rise for quite some time and let me tell you this trend rocks! They come in a hard shell or soft knit both are super fun summer bags.

Big Floppy Hat

For your next beach or pool day it’s time to invest in floppy hat. These hats range in sizes and my opinion the bigger the better. You can even get these hats with cute summer sayings on them. The floppy hats are perfect for protecting you from the sun and are easy to snooze under.

Patterns

This summer calls for some animal print. It is important to note that you can easily go overboard with prints and to choose wisely how you incorporated them!

Leopard: Leopard is back and better than ever. I enjoy this print it is very versatile and looks good on any type of clothing. I enjoy incorporating it simply and not overdoing it. Earrings, shoes, dresses and tops are highly recommended.

Snake Skin: Another fantastic print. Snake skin is in and can be found everywhere. You can make a statement with snake skin since the colour is very neutral and matches many things. If you don’t like the basic snake skin opt for the neon or coloured versions. Snake skin looks bomb in shoes, skirts, dresses and bags.

Buttons: This may sound pretty basic but buttons down the front of an outfit are super popular and in for the summer. These buttons can be big or small. They carry a more boho and relaxed vibe but make for some great outfits.

Block Heels

A pair of block heels are something you need to rock this summer! These shoes are more comfortable than your average pump. These shoes are sure to provide you with more support. They also come in many shapes in sizes! The benefit of having a thicker heel also means no sinking in the grass or getting caught in a small space.

I hope you enjoyed these summer closet essentials! Leave a comment down below your favourite or if you think I missed a super stylish trend of the season.

Everything You Need to Know Shopping for Skin Care.

Beauty

SkinCare, SkinCare, SkinCare!!! It is so important to take care of the skin. It is the first sign of aging and when you don’t take care of it your skin can age fast. Creating a skincare routine is an awesome way to hydrate, nourish, and maintain healthy-looking skin. When you let your skin run its course it can look dull, oily and acne covered! It is important to get a feel for everything on the market and understand the benefits of products and how they can be better for you.

Before you buy any new products, it is important to know your skin type. Knowing your skin type will help you determine which products will work best for you and help control your problem areas. Products usually state the specific kind of skin they are designed to treat. There are 4 common skin types. Normal, oily, dry, and combination skin. In my case I have combination skin. Let’s explore what each of these skin types means…

Normal: A normal skin type means that your skin is balanced and there is little to no variation of oily or dryness. Normal skin usually looks very smooth with no pores or imperfections. It is well-hydrated in all areas and is not sensitive.

Oily: Oily skin occurs when there is an overproduction of sebum which produces oil. Oily skin usually is paired with visible pores or enlarged pores as well as a shiny covering. Oily skin is more prone to get acne of all kinds (blackheads, whiteheads, papules, pustules).

Dry: Dry skin doesn’t produce enough sebum which provides that glossy shine. It also doesn’t retain enough water to keep the skin hydrated. Dry skin may appear to be flaky, cracked or rough.

Combination: Combination skin is tricky to deal with because you are both oily and dry. Normally combination skin involves an oily T-zone (forehead and down the nose to the chin) and dryer/ normal cheeks. Having combination skin typically comes with enlarged pores being prominent in oily zones.

Once you have established your skin type it’s time to understand the products you can buy and what they are going to do for you. There are many variations and extras you can add to your skincare routine. If you’re looking for basic, a face wash and moisturizer can be enough. If you’re looking to take that extra step, then continue reading and find out!

Garnier Skin Active Micellar Water (Normal/ Sensitive skin)
Neutrogena Make-up wipes

Makeup Remover: Makeup remover comes in all different kinds. You can buy makeup wipes or a solution on a cotton pad. Makeup removers can be made with oil and others are oil-free. Makeup removers can also be found naturally, Coconut oil, olive oil, or Vaseline will also remove makeup. This is an important step as it takes off the first layer covering your skin. Washing away the makeup from the day.

Cleanser: Cleansers are used typically after make-up remover to make sure your skin is clean and refreshed. The cleanser’s job is also to remove excess sebum, dirt, and oils from the day unclogging your pores and preventing acne.

Exfoliator: Exfoliating is a good technique to use every once in a while, to get that deep clean. It is recommended to do it 2-3 times per week. Exfoliating will dive deeper into your skin cells and unclog pores preventing acne from emerging. Be careful with your skin try to find an exfoliator that is still gentle as some exfoliators can tear or scratch your skin leaving permanent damage.

Toner: Toner is another trick to make sure your skin is clean. It will remove dirt, makeup, and some oils. Toner is super important for those will oily/ combination skin as it will help balance your PH levels and help oil production preventing acne. Try to avoid toners that contain alcohol as they can be super drying.

Eye cream: This product is extra! I enjoy using eye cream at night as I have wrinkly under eyes. Eye cream’s main purpose is to reduce these fine lines, wrinkles, and dark spots. Buy an eye cream that contains retinol and Vitamin A for a good boost.

Moisturizer: One of the best and most important steps. If you want glowy and hydrated skin get a good moisturizer. This is one product I would spend an extra few dollars on. Moisturizer hydrates your skin and clears away dryness. It will help balance your skin and make you feel refreshed!

Pearl Essence Radiance Serum, ValJean Labs Clarify Serum (Vitamin A + Witch Hazel)

Serums: Another extra! Serums can dive deep into your skin and provide your skin with the active ingredients. Serums can provide hydration, brightening, and prevention of acne. They are 60% more powerful than using moisturizers alone.

Face Oil: This may seem quite intimidating rubbing oil on your face. Face oils contain antioxidants that treat your skin and maintain freshness and a glow. They can boost collagen and elasticity in your face. Face oils are usually light, and you only need a few drops so even if you have oily skin it will not provide a greasy feel. Common oils are jojoba oil, marula, tea tree.

N7 Protect and Perfect Mask and N7 Lift and Luminate

Face Mask: There are a variety of face masks on the market whether they be clay, sheet, or a DIY they can be relaxing and do wonders for your skin. Clay masks work great for those with oily skin as they remove a lot of dirt and oil but also hydrate your skin. Face masks generally state what it will help like brighten and strengthen, rejuvenating or hydrating. Doing a face mask once a week is super beneficial but as many as you’d like is fine as it doesn’t hurt your skin.

There are also some tools you can buy to better the result of your new and improved skincare routine. These are just extra as if you wash your hands your fingers will work just fine.

Facial Cleansing Brush: These brushes help clear out the sebum and dirt from your pores by gentle massage the face wash deeper into your skin. These brushes a little bit better at removing blockages and provide an overall clean of your face. Using this is circular motions and pressing a little bit to get the dirt underneath your skin.

Jade Roller: The jade roller helps reduce inflammation in the skin as well as puffiness. If you want extra action place your jade roller in the freezer to have a nice cool roller in the morning. Jade rollers also enhance blood circulation which tightens your pores and reduces the look of fine lines and wrinkles.

Blackhead extractor: I do not generally have a lot of love for this product. Many people do use these and yes, they do extract blackheads, but you must be very careful while using them. If you do not use them properly, they can cause serious damage and scarring. So, I recommend watching a video on how to properly use it to be sure you’re treating your skin with care.

I have learned some tips when it comes to shopping for new skincare products. There are many things you can do to try new things at a low cost. I have also learned some life lessons about shopping skincare without a budget or thinking before purchasing.

Tip #1: Head to Sephora.

Sephora is a wonderful store filled with all the exciting and beautiful skincare products. You can browse the high-end products and get a feel for the price range. When I go to Sephora and I want to try new products I shop around the cash line up. Around the cash is small products almost tester size. I usually invest in three or four different products and try them for a week on my skin and see how it reacts this way I know if it’s worth the investment.

Tip #2 While at Sephora!

Another important thing to know about Sephora is if you become a beauty insider you can collect points that ultimately lead you to get to choose products in the little glass box at the front! Since I buy my make-up here gathering points is super easy. Usually I will pick the skincare products and test them out. Also, sometimes they have samples at the cash don’t be afraid to ask your cashier for a free sample!

Tip #3 Ask for Help

In your local drug store or beauty store in the beauty section/ skincare section is a person who has been trained about skincare don’t be afraid to ask for pointers if you are feeling lost, confused, or overwhelmed by all the products.

Tip #4 Do Some Research

When I was first starting I did quite a bit of research as I didn’t want to blow all my money on a product that didn’t work. I explored YouTube and blogs and found a girl who explained her skin and it matched my own. I started looking at the products she used and narrowing down what I wanted to start with. Her videos provided me with some of my staple skincare routine items.

Tip #5 Read Ingredients

I know this is sometimes a daunting task but reading the ingredients can be super important. I know it is hard to always buy super clean products on a budget but make sure what is in each product is not going to harm or leave permanent damage is important for your health.

Tip #6 Don’t Impulse Buy

Try to plan out what you need and want before shopping. This prevents you from buying extras or products outside your bu

Tip #7 Try a Box

There are many skincare/ makeup boxes on the market! They hold very popular and expensive products and they send them full size. The box is worth the price as you get your money’s worth of cool products. If your experimenting and can afford to try a box (FabFitFun, Boxy charm, IPSY) then I recommend this!